so_out_of_ideas (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
so_out_of_ideas) wrote2007-12-09 08:31 pm
so_out_of_ideas) wrote2007-12-09 08:31 pm
Entry tags:
Holiday fic #4, 5, and 6
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wolfenm asked for "Four things the team did to pass the time during Unending and one thing they didn't. Here's two they did so far and one they didn't. These were suggested by stargatefangurl, beta credit to sweetiemissy. I've only watched Unending once, but I think they work.Title: The Price You Pay For Convenience
Author: Lionchilde
Summary: Cam displays a new talent. Just a crackfic.
Rating: PG
Length: Around 800 words.
Category: Humor
Pairings/Characters: Sam, Cam, Daniel, Vala
A/N: Requested by
wolfenm. Written for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif){kind=small}
fic101 and sg_15_fics. The song Cam sings is This Can't Be Good by Blake Shelton. And since I'm a Shelton fan, I can get away with describing it as annoying and twangy."I know what we need," Vala announced over breakfast. She stabbed her fork into a piece of her pancake and used it to mop some of the maple syrup out of the corner of her food tray.
The rest of the team cast nervous glances back and forth across the table. None of them spoke for a few moments. Then Daniel cleared his throat and took a breath, deciding it would be better to deal with whatever new scheme she was cooking up right away.
"What, Vala?"
"We need a better ship's comm system," she said.
"What?" Daniel asked.
"Think about it, Daniel. There are only five of us. Suppose we all need to communicate from different parts of the ship."
"She does have a point," admitted Sam. "Right now, we can only do that two ways, or make general announcements ship-wide."
"We have walkie-talkies for that," Cam pointed out.
"Their power supply isn't going to last forever," Sam reminded him.
"And we need to have a…switchboard thing on the bridge. Like on Star Trek. I'll be Uhura!" Vala beamed.
Daniel covered his face with his hand. "Who let you watch Star Trek?"
"General Landry," she replied.
He, Cam, Teal'c, and Sam, all turned to face the general, who had been quietly polishing off his pancakes as the discussion went on around them. He looked up and offered them a faintly sheepish shrug. Then, glancing briefly at Vala, he let the left corner of his mouth turn up.
"I'm a closet Trekkie," he admitted.
"Um…" Daniel responded.
"That's…" Sam attempted.
"Indeed," rumbled Teal'c.
"So where are we gonna to get this thing?" Cam interrupted. "Sam's supposed to be spendin' her time figurin' us a way outta this mess, not riggin' up some fancy intercom."
"So, I'll do it," Vala shrugged.
"You," Cam said, flatly disbelieving.
"It's not as if I have anything better to do with myself, my dear Colonel. And if you recall, I did steal the Prometheus once. Altering the Odyssey's comm system shouldn't be that difficult."
"Fine," Cam shrugged.
"Fine?" Daniel echoed.
Vala gave him a thwap in the back of the head. "Hey!"
"Sam's right," Cam shrugged. "'Sides, it ain't gonna hurt anything. And it'll keep Vala out of trouble for a few weeks, at least."
"I'm more worried about the trouble she'll get into when she's done with it," sighed Daniel.
***
Three weeks later, after enough false starts and malfunctions to make the whole team regret Cam's willingness to go along with this scheme, Vala had her "switchboard." Sam, Daniel, Teal'c, and Landry, all gathered on the bridge to help her test it, but Cam was conspicuously absent.
Daniel glanced around in confusion. "Where's Mitchell…?"
"Oh, don't worry, darling," Vala replied as she reached to press a button in front of her. "He volunteered to help with the test."
"Oh," Daniel nodded.
"He just doesn't know that yet," Vala grinned.
"What?" asked Daniel.
Vala tapped another button, and the intercom came alive with what was clearly the sound of running water. The team gave one another a series of confused glances, and then Mitchell's voice registered through the water.
My old pickup speakers are cranking out alot of Hank
That's the sheriff's daughter dancin' on my hood
with an empty bottle this can't be good.
There's an unwritten law in this sleepy little town
there ain't no drinkin on the river when the sun goes down
think I see the blue lights comin' through the woods
its the sheriff and his posse, this can't be good
Everybody is runnin' like the end of the world is comin'
with a Buffard T kinda law man closin' in
She just keeps on rockin guess i better do some talkin
she's too dumb to run n' i'm too drunk to swim
this can't be good, this can't be good, this can't be good
aww stay tuned…
"What is he singing?" Daniel asked. The song was obviously one of Mitchell's trademark annoying, twangy country songs, but he didn't think he'd ever heard this one before.
"I don't think I want to know," Landry replied.
"Indeed," agreed Teal'c.
"Shh!" Vala urged, waving her hand. "I want to hear the rest.
I got a whole tin can full of campfire gas
theres a little bitty flame on this piece of firewood
and when it all comes together it can't be good
Everybody is runnin like the end of the world was comin
with a wildfire burnin' like a freight train outta control
she just keeps on rockin', babe there ain't no time for talking
throw her over my shoulder run with everything I can
hold on babe looks like were jumpin in...
now you know, when we get to the other side, were gonna have to take all
these wet clothes off, and hang out awhile... you know, this could be good.
Yea!
Title: When You Let Your Guard Down
Author: Lionchilde
Summary: Sam lets her guard down. So does Mitchell. Just a crackfic.
Rating: PG
Length: Around 800 words.
Category: Humor
Pairings/Characters: Sam, Cam, Daniel, Vala
A/N: Requested by
wolfenm. Written for fic101 and sg_15_fics."I know what we should do!" exclaimed Vala suddenly. She was sprawled in a chair in Sam's quarters, her legs dangling over one side. Sam was sitting at the desk across from her, busily typing on her laptop.
She sighed and reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose. "What?"
"Before we left, I saw these things on television," Vala said.
"What things?" Sam asked, her tone indicating that she was far from certain she really wanted an answer.
"They were paints that worked on fabric! We could synthesize a whole bunch of them and decorate everyone's uniforms while they're asleep!" Vala grinned.
"No, we couldn't," Sam said without turning around.
"Why not?"
"It would be a waste of power to synthesize those, for one thing," Sam said.
"You have a cello," Vala pointed out.
"That's different," said Sam.
"How?"
"It's--" Sam hesitated, biting her lip.
"Ah-ha!" Vala jabbed a finger at her accusingly.
"We still can't," Sam sighed.
"Give me one good reason!" challenged Vala.
"Because it's against regulations to--"
Vala cut her off with an exaggerated sigh. "Regulations!"
"Well, it is, Vala, you can't just--"
"Fine," Vala interrupted again.
"Fine?" Sam turned to look at her, raising an eyebrow.
"All right? Okay? I'll drop the subject?" Vala said with a huff.
"You're giving up too easily," Sam told her.
"Well, I can see I'm not going to get anywhere with you. You just don't know how to have any fun," Vala decided.
"I do too!"
"Oh, really?"
"Yes! But my idea of fun doesn't include stealing people's pants," Sam replied.
"Well, what's your idea of fun then?" Vala asked.
"Playing the cello!" Sam declared.
"Oh," Vala's brow puckered thoughtfully. "Well…will you teach me to play it, then?"
"What?" Sam blinked.
"I'm bored!" exclaimed Vala. "I can't pester Daniel all the time, and if I can't interest you in my idea of fun, I might as well try yours."
"Vala, it takes a huge amount of work and dedication to learn to play a musical instrument," Sam said.
"Oh," Vala sighed.
Sam smiled and shook her head in disbelief at her own words. "Why don't I just…help you steal someone's pants."
***
Cam was the obvious choice. In fact, he was too obvious to suit either Sam or Vala. They worked very hard for several days to concoct a way of stealing Daniel's pants, but he was in the habit of spending days at a time without sleep, and one never knew when he might decide to take a shower. Cam, on the other hand, adhered to a strict routine, which made it far easier to carry out their objective.
In the end, they took the easy route and slipped into the showers while Cam was busy singing to himself. Snatching his pants from the sink where he'd left them, they raced back to Vala's quarters, where they had left the fabric paints. Sam decided on a chain of flowers along the cuffs and up the legs, while Vala quite happily painted a large, yellow smiley-face on the backside. After a few minutes, both woman stood back to admire their work with satisfied grins.
"Oh, I adore your flowers, Sam!" Vala exclaimed.
"You think there's enough?" Sam asked.
"It's perfect!" nodded Vala.
"Um," said a familiar voice behind them. Both women whirled around as Daniel stepped into the room. They arranged themselves hurriedly in front of the bed, but he had already caught sight of what they were hiding. "Are those…?"
"What, darling?" Vala asked cheerily.
"Mitchell's pants?!"
"Well…"
"Hey!" Cam boomed, suddenly appearing behind Daniel. He shouldered past the archaeologist and stood glaring at Vala in nothing but a white towel.
Her eyes went wide. "It wasn't me! I swear! Well. It wasn't just me…"
Cam stared at her for a second longer, then turned toward Daniel, who was struggling valiantly not to laugh.
"Aw, come on, Jackson. Not you too!" he sighed.
Daniel held up his hands. "I'm just a bystander."
Cam turned again, eyeing the culprits in disbelief. "Sam…?"
"Hey," she shrugged, giving Vala a conspiratorial grin. "You never know what might happen when you let your guard down."
Title: Proof Through The Night
Author: Lionchilde
Summary: How to have the Fourth of July without fireworks.
Rating: PG
Length: Around 300 words.
Category: Gen
Pairings/Characters: Sam, Cam, Daniel, Vala
A/N: Requested by
wolfenm. Written for fic101 and sg_15_fics. Also for the servicemen I know and love. Note: Don't comment that I should have said "servicemen and women." The dedication is specific."You can't have the Fourth of July without fireworks," Cam said flatly. He stood unmoving in front of the viewport, staring out at the Ori ship which hung seemingly frozen in space just outside the time dilation bubble. Waving his hand at it, he added harshly, "That thing don't count."
"Yes, you can, son," Landry replied.
Cam spun. "Oh, yeah? How's that work, exactly--uh--sir."
"Like this," Landry replied, pushing back his chair. He rose quite casually and came to attention. The members of SG-1 all frowned uncertainly for a moment, unsure what their CO intended to do. Then, quietly, the general began to sing, the words of the song coming quickly and without hesitation to his lips. Cam dropped his arms and stood at attention as well, and Sam pushed her food tray away to stand with her fellow officers. After a moment, Daniel and Teal'c both rose to join in the song. Vala listened, her brow furrowed deeply as she tried to figure out exactly what her teammates were doing, but when Daniel stood up, she took the cue and rose as well.
Oh, say can you see,
By the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hailed
At the twilight's last gleaming,
Whose broad stripes and bright stars,
Through the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched
Were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare,
The bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night
That our flag was still there.
O, say, does that
Star-Spangled Banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free
And the home of the brave?
"That's a lovely song," Vala spoke up when they finished. "But you know, I don't think I have it on any of my CDs…"
Daniel rubbed his eyes. "Vala, that's the National Anthem."
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And the 4 July one was just perfect!! *hugs*
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Happy holidays! :D
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